Dedicated to my beautiful Mom Arlina!

Today for some heavenly reason, I had a flashback about the most spectacular woman that I had the pleasure to meet and call Mom!
It happened while I was working, I mean of the mini-jobs I have here in Germany. As I said , I was working, listening to music, to be more specific nice work out music that I usually hear at the gym. And then it came, the memory followed by a Christian song called "The God of the impossible". That took me back to some childhood memories which I share together with my beautiful Mom and my little brother Williams.
There she was in the kitchen cooking some eggs without any make up, without any nice clothes, but still the most amazing woman. She used to called us with a loud scream "XAVIER and WILLIAM go you two wash your hands, the food is almost done". Jajaja, she was really loud when she wanted.

It was so beautiful to see her one more time, to hear her voice again, it was so pure, so delicate. Oh my Dear God, it was amazing and beyond description, even though it was just in my mind, but I felt her so close than never and could feel her in my heart.
I remembered as well, her last hours of life, I read to her a bible versicle, it was psalm 23 and when I finished, just a few minutes before her passing away, I stared at her and said the last words that I'm grateful for that God gave me the change to tell her "I love you MOM with all of my heart". I guess those are the most beautiful words that a Mother wants to hear before she goes up to face the Almighty God, my God!!
And if you have the opportunity to say some last words to the angel that God gave you as Mother... what would you say? 

MAY GOD BLESS YOU ALL

Positive energy

OMG... yesterday was a really lazy day, just being at home, but I have to admit that this is kind of relaxing in between. At least I did some exercise in the early afternoon.
 Well today, as usually every Monday, I´m full of positive energy as the beginning of a beautiful week.
Also, today there arrived a new student from London, so that we are now five host-students. But I guess he just going to stay with us for one or two weeks. Anyway, it´s always nice to meet new people.

Someone gave me a great book "Conversations with God" by Neale Donald Walsch. I just started reading it and it caught my attention from the very first page on.
The book is about a journey and it´s reminding me about my own one that I´ve started in Nicaragua. Letting my family behind, but I´ve found at the other side of the world an other family.

"Go to the people. Learn from them. Live with them. Start with what they know. Build with what they have. The best of leaders when the job is done, when the task is accomplished, the people will say we have done it ourselves." (Lau Tzu)

Keep on working

Well, after a very nice company from my friends (Alberto and Walter) from my motherland Nicaragua. I feel ready to keep on going for my dreams, but this time reloaded! And what a better started of the day than to go to clear my  mind and stress out myself with exercise. Like someone once said: healthy mind in healthy body...later on I putted myself into the kitchen and started cooking a well known traditional food from Nicaragua: Sopa de Res (beef soup). Which my family here liked a lot, even the little chihuahua...we all sank our teeth into the bones and flesh of the soup and just for fractions of seconds I got a flashback from my grandma house!

 Lately, I´ve experienced good and bad things...even changes of moods. Some days are really terrible , although with a lot of help I feel that I can control them more. Feelings, temper, and even anger are really hard to manage. Indeed, along the way of this path - called life - I will find/meet many people. Some of them are good, others aren't good for the development of my personality. Some of them will let marks on my life and stay, some on the other hand won't, but I will be able to learn from all of those people. I just have to see the good what they have to offer, and - the most important - never stop to believe in myself.

I believe that everything happens for a reason and everything has its purpose and everyday I feel grateful for what I have and for what I don´t and it feels like that everyday I am a bit closer to what I´m fighting for. Whether the answer is Yes or No, it doesn't matter, cause I´ve  learned a valuable lesson and the knowing that I have the courage to do it alone is priceless. Of course a lot of people had helped me and some of them are still doing it. Thanks God for that!!!

On Sunday 17th, I have a 60 minutes interview casting with an international agency and with a lot of luck and commitment they probably  say YES... but anyway if it will be a NO... I won't stop trying. As the NO from today could be the YES from tomorrow!
And like someone once told me in a workshop: YOU LATINOS ARE STUBBORN... Yes, we are! And I myself specially with something that I feel so much passion for.
Not everything has been pink colored or like a rainbow in the past, but somehow I´m doing fine. I was hit but not defeated, I have fallen but I didn't surrender. 

"If you don´t get a miracle... become one." (Nick Vujicic)

The ladder

Today is a very special day...a good day to make a new start again. My beautiful daughter turned 4 years today. Wow, time is flying when you are far away from home! I left Nicaragua nearly a year ago to go to LA. I was living there for four months. Then I got the opportunity to come here to Europe (Germany).

In this last year I´ve learned alot - to follow my heart and to trust in myself - to not be afraid to take decisions rather they are good or bad. I as well have figured out to believe in my vision. Yes, I have a vision and I will make it happen, no matter what it takes. Like someone has told me: "No pain - No game."

One of the most important things that I know now is: I need to think out of the box... make something different... something special. But in between it is hard for me to go out of the box I'm in. These are the moments when I struggle with finding my ladder, I mean - my own way out. But I never give up. I´m kind of stubborn. Sometimes I like that. I like it cause when I hear a "NO" it is music to my hears.

Once I heard that not everyone is born to be a James Bond... BUT - who says that I want to be a James Bond? I just want to do something that I really love... Something that I feel passion about... Something that I want to spend on all the emotions that I have inside me!

 Now, eight months later, have the unique opportunity to study theater.

“People who say it cannot be done should not interrupt those who are doing it.”

New week

After a really lazy weekend, when I barely left the house, I finally feel how my energy is back.

During a nice long run in a light rain today, all my thoughts got more structured. It made me feel lighter and relieved me from the pressure of the unorganized thoughts. After the run I was able to work more effectively.
I realized, just 2 more months till my German finals. I have to keep up with the language and I am willed to put the needed effort into it.

But the best news of the day is, that tomorrow I will be able to skype with my lovely daughter! It has been a long time since I have seen her little cute face.

Right now there is hard rain hitting the roof of the house and the patio and it is nice to know to sit in the dry and warm house.


I just had my dinner. Afterwards I felt that the smell of the food was stuck in my beard. Uhh, awkward... I'm wondering, how do other men do that? Do they always directly wash their beard after eating? Do they eat differently? I'm definitely wondering...

"I am not discouraged because every wrong attempt discarded is another step forward." (Thomas Edison)

Today is Friday...I wish to go somewhere out there to have some nice and quiet time, maybe to ski.
Unfortunately I´m stuck at home, but that doesn´t mean I cannot have a good time here watching very inspiring movies. One of those movies that makes me cry, every-time I watch it, is "The Pursuit of Happyness".
God, this is one of the provable facts, that dreams can come true, if you work really hard for it. Like this guy said: If you got a dream, you have to protect it. You want something go and get it.

I want to share a video with you... so amazing.
If you have a family: father, mother, son, that´s a blessing. They help you to overcome the hardest and ugliest difficulties of life. When you don´t have those pillars in your life, it´s terrible. You feel alone and lonely. I myself have a beautiful daughter that I cannot see for the moment. It´s almost a year without playing with her, without kissing her, without watching her favorites cartoons till she falls asleep. But she is my anchor, she is my everything, she just came to this world at the right time and at the right moment to save me, because I was kind of lost.

"I can do all things through Him who strengthens me".    Philippians 1:13

Row, row, row the boat...

Bloody mood of mine is killing me. Just to think about all the commitments I have to do in order to align and clear up a bit the road. It's a lot of stress. But I need to do whatever it takes. I just have one chance and I won't waste it. God knows I'm worth it. He'll give me all the necessary strength and fill up my heart with joy even in very tough times. I will take every opportunity to learn, because knowledge  and wisdom are gifts from above that will take me to places.

Today was my first guitar lesson. It was very funny for me. It seems that I have certain artistic skills. I even played a song named:

"Row, row, row your boat
gently down the stream.
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily
Life is but a dream."

I know it's a kids' song, but it was so much fun. And it helps me to relax... So maybe next time I'll upload a video.

"Listen to your heart, trust your gut. If the way seems unclear look within you!"